A weekend of awakenings

Fuck Fuckity Fuck. This happens almost every month. I hear about someone from my past and am bombarded by their glorious achievements and end up feeling down about the little i have achieved since graduation. This nasty habit of mine has to stop. It only ends up making me feel like shit. So I realize that the only way to change the situation is to actually work hard and also strive for great achievements, which is just way too much to do. A better solution? - the other overambitious fuckers from University need to slow the fuck down. Whats wrong with being contented with where you are in life? eh gandus?

On a related note there are a disturbingly large number of people out there who just piss me off. I don't think i am a particularly persnickety individual so its obviously the other persons problem. So to the few people who i genuinely like...CHEERS...and don't annoy me or else.

P.S. to all the wannabe 'Bros' out there....you're not black. Deal with it.

An Ode to Friends

A friend in need is a friend indeed,
A friend with weed is better,
A friend with breasts and all the rest,
A friend who's dressed in leather,

A friend in need is a friend indeed,
A friend who'll tease is better ,
Our thoughts compressed,
Which makes us blessed,
And makes for stormy weather.


Cruising youtube like you do i came across this kinda cool song by a chick from a MTV show. Its called "Body Language" by Heidi Montag and i know all the music critics are thrashing it but i Like it. Its got a banging beat and is currently being used to annoy my neighbours at 7 in the morning. Check it out.....

Brisbane - not just for bogans.......

...also welcomes fuckwits, dipshits, douchebags and sleazoids. Why are there so many of the above in Brisbane? and they all come out to play whenever i venture outdoors. Sometimes eugenics does seem reasonable.
On another note Ricki Lee is kicking some ass at the moment. The hot beatch has released a new single and it is totally growing on me. I always thought she would do well from Australian Idol and she continues to amaze. I know the song sounds like a generic pop song and she can't dance for nuts but Bitch is bringin' it....

The beautiful meatball

Okay peeps I am like SEW excited... well, excited, but in a cool, non-committal, gothish way. Why? Beeecoz Tequila and I are going to (goth rock drum roll) the Marilyn Manson concert!!! Oh yes, it is super exciting. I cannot wait. Except I now need to decide what to wear, which is just sweet agony. You know, so many people seem to think I'm nuts for going, and people also don't seem to appreciate my need to fit in with the other goth freaks by wearing the right outfit, but I don't care. Because I am a wannabe and I am proud.

In related news, I found a store called Miss Demeanour which will basically make to measure any sort of gothie outfit you like... leather dress, leather skirt, velvet cape... I am in heaven. Now I just need to lose 5 kilos so I can make a dress that will seem suitable svelte. Yum.

No Man is an Island.....

...but Bombay IS!!!!!! For ages now i have been trying to explain to certain people that Bombay is indeed an island but they have been shooting me down. So using my fully sick interneting skills i have managed to track down on Wikipedia, proof positive that Yes Virginia, It is an island. For those in any doubt behold, cut and pasted direct from Wikipedia..... Mumbai (Marathi: मुंबई Muṃbaī, IPA: /'mumbəi/ , formerly known as Bombay, is the capital of the state of Maharashtra, the most populous city of India, and by some measures the most populous city in the world with an estimated population of about 18 million (as of 2006).[1] Mumbai is located on Salsette Island, off the west coast of Maharashtra.

If that doesn't prove it you can eat my shorts. So now no more of this bullshit and just pay me my $100. Don't you know you should never argue with someone who has actually lived in Bombay for 14 frigging years? Bitch Please.

Heard it through the Grapevine?

Okay peeps listen up. When i get comfortable around you i may open up with some ideas and opinions that i do not normally express. The mere fact that you hear these ideas in the first place is that i kinda trust you. So imagine my disappointment and annoyance when i hear that you have been "discussing" my opinions with someone you(and more importantly) I barely know. Yeah i suppose it is fine for superficial information to be talked about when discussing people but serious shit should stay the fuck away. To say i was peeved last night would be an understatement and today i feel even more...peeved. But seeing as the only person who is getting angry is me i guess i should just swallow my pride(?) and get on with life.

a little joke to end this angry rant on a happy note.
A little kid walks into a city bus and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling, "If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I'd be a little bull." The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who continues with, "If my dad was an elephant and my mom a girl elephant I would be a little elephant." The kid goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets angry and yells at the kid, "What if your dad was gay and your mom was a prostitute?!" The kid smiles and says, "I would be a bus driver!"

Happy Birthday Handsome.

Huzzah for 'tis my birthday. well really tomorrow but i really don't feel like celebrating. I used to enjoy Birthdays but now i just don't care either way. Fuck, is this what becoming older feels like? Then i will have to take a pass coz Garcon, this just ain't what i ordered. Where is the fun and excitement and anticipation that used to accompany these days? huh? Sitting here typing this at 9 pm listening to the "Chumscrubber" soundtrack it has become blindingly obvious what i should buy myself on this "happy" occasion. A $75 baggie.

So what if isn't good? neither is KFC but hell they still manage to make a profit you know. And yes it can't really be compared but whatever. This is my blog so suck on that sucka. yeah i know, real clever. Anyway thats enough depression spewed out for one night. I have to start listening to some happy music.....i wonder if the new Young Divas Cd is on sale?

Baaaaaaa

i know i shouldn't be making fun of kiwis but this was bloody funny.

State of Fear

In the U.K. a Muslim Doctor gave his second cousin his mobile phone's SIM card as he was leaving the country and still had unused credit on it. He had a new job in the Gold Coast Hospital and was leaving for there in 3 days. 2 years later the Australian Police arrest him and treat him like Osama Bin Laden's chief henchman. Why???? because that same SIM card was used by the dumb ass bombers in Scotland recently. The Police ransack his house and leak information to the media and then pretend to have no idea where the media are getting this information. AND after holding him without charge for 12 days they charge him with , wait for it, "Reckless use of a SIM card". The judge allows the doctor on bail cause she doesn't believe he is a threat to the public. 3 hours later the Immigration minister revokes his Work visa because according to him the Muslim doctor fails the necessary character test. This comes after the judge himself says that according to the character tests even he would fail the test. So in the meantime the "terror suspect" is kept in solitary confinement for 23 hours a day until his trial starts for the "reckless use of a SIM card". http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/news/national/i-would-fail-character-test-judge/2007/07/18/1184559862270.html This rubbish is really pissing me off big time. The fucking police and the dickwit Prime minister are trying to create public panic and are trying to get the public to endorse new laws which enable the government to spy on the citizens without their knowledge and without getting a warrant. This article in The Register sort of explains it in detail. http://www.theregister.co.uk/2007/06/29/more_fear_biscuits_please/

Help mommy, my claws hurt!

OMG this is so funny I can't stop laughing.... it's seriously insane. I have no words. None that can make it funnier. Just read it and weep people.

 

Crustacean case first for SPCA

A joint prosecution by Auckland SPCA and the Environmental Health Department of Auckland City Council has sent a clear anti cruelty message to restaurant owners Auckland-wide.

On 12th June 2007 at the Auckland District Court, David Li, formerly the manager of the Imperial Sichuan Restaurant in Parnell, Auckland pleaded guilty to two charges under the Animal Welfare Act 1999 and three charges laid by Auckland City Council.

Mr Li was found to have thirty-nine crayfish in a tank that was approximately twenty times more toxic than normal and was subsequently causing the death of these crustaceans that were being sold to the patrons of the restaurant.

SPCA Inspectors instructed Mr Li to rectify the situation but he failed to do so and charges were brought against him. Mr Li was fined a total of $5,230 in relation to all the charges with $2,090 to be paid to Auckland SPCA in fines and reparations.

Inspector Victoria Border who led the investigation said, "This is a test case for the SPCA and has sent a clear message that the Auckland SPCA will not tolerate cruelty to animals in any form".