Three poems

mmmmmkay, I'm gonna be like totally intellectual and post three poems I recently came across which i think are really really incredibly cool. probably violating some copyright stuff and all, but still. sue me.

Poetry is good, make love not war, peeps. Enjoy

---

Fire and Ice  - Robert Frost

 

Some say the world will end in fire,

Some say in ice.

From what I've tasted of desire

I hold with those who favor fire.

But if it had to perish twice,

I think I know enough of hate

To say that for destruction ice

Is also great

And would suffice.

---

 

I, Too, Sing America - Langston Hughes

 

I, too, sing America.

I am the darker brother.

They send me to eat in the kitchen

When company comes,

But I laugh,

And eat well,

And grow strong.

Tomorrow,

I'll be at the table

When company comes.

Nobody'll dare

Say to me,

"Eat in the kitchen,"

Then.

Besides,

They'll see how beautiful I am

And be ashamed--

I, too, am America.

---

 

'Fires' - Joseph Campbell

 

The little fires that Nature lights --

The scilla's lamp, the daffodil --

She quenches, when of stormy nights

Her anger whips the hill.

 

The fires she lifts against the cloud --

The irised bow, the burning tree --

She batters down with curses loud,

Nor cares that death should be.

 

The fire she kindles in the soul --

The poet's mood, the rebel's thought --

She cannot master, for their coal

In other mines is wrought.

---

The economics of envy and not-minding-yer-own-business

Ok ok i have been reading way lots news... and some shit blog was featured in the newspaper this week. Seriously - why do shit blogs get featured, and this one, which is like WAY the best doesn't? Okay, that's besides the point... the point is, that this newspaper was featuring blog comments on Oprah's new academy for girls in South Africa.

Apparently Oprah is putting in hella money to provide a world class, super duper academy, for 150 girls who have leadership potential. Like millions of dollars. so, miss blog commentator writes something along the lines of...
"Why can't Oprah spend a little less and actually help much more than 150 girls? And why only the girls in South Africa? There are deserving girls in America too... Surely she could have shared the money between both places."

Ok, miss thang... I have two words for you... HER MONEY.

Actually I have more words for you... basically, Oprah's made a stackload of cash. You haven't. Therefore, when Oprah wants to spend her money, she can choose to do so on a one-legged, overfed pig living in a ghetto in New Caledonia, for all you should care. Because it's HER MONEY, and she can do what she want. When you spend your money on an extra pack of smokes, or a double chocolate pie from Mr Happy Pie, then I assure you... Oprah will offer you the same courtesy of NOT COMMENTING.

Never mind the fact that it actually makes a whole lot of sense to invest in real talent in a country as well as spreading the margarine thinly over a whole bunch. Which a number of agencies already do. Where do I apply?

old mcdonald had a farm...

okay this made me laugh so much... i'm in india and was reading the newspaper... and this long time animal rights activist has written a long column on the rights of cows. you may or may not know... but the slaughter of cows is actually illegal in india, but surprise surprise, it does still go on. so, ms. bovinerights is outraged... how can we allow the illegal slaughter of poor little cowlets to continue??? don't we know what harm this causes?

which is all fine and dandy... until i got to the REASONS she offers for this practice being so bad...

1. each cow provides invaluable farming resource... we'd have to spend so much money on tractors to replace them!

2. each cow generates lots of energy (ummm uh-huh...) which means we'd have to drain more fossil fuels if we got rid of the cows...

3. cows produce so much milk... if we didn't have milk, we'd drink more water, which is a scarce resource!!!

and my personal favourite...

4. if we keep killing cows at this rate... in ten years, INDIA WILL HAVE NO COWS LEFT!!!

oh, it's just priceless... someone has obviously not done their research. because, major newsflash... cows are domestic animals, babe... they breed in captivity... they're actually FARMED whether you like it or not... hardly a species on the brink of extinction.

will someone please think about the poor endangered sheep, that's what i ask!

Baby Frankenstein

New Year resolutions - seriously, who needs them? All it provides people is a chance to make trite statements on things they're never really gonna live out anyway.

 

I mean, let's face it - if you were gonna lose those 20 spare kilos, quit smoking and give up tequila, what makes you think you couldn't have done it in December? And given that you haven't... let's also face the fact that chances are next January's resolution will be to save up for gastric bypass, lung transplant and liver replacement surgery. Oh the dreams just get bigger.

 

Ohhh and in other but related news... celebs have been asked for their new year resolutions, and this piece of horror has emerged from the lips of the esteemed Paris Hilton...

 

I'd love to find the right guy and get married. I want to have kids in the next two or three years. I can't wait to have a little daughter and dress her up just like me!

 

read it and SHUDDER people.

the end times are nigh.

Hello....Goodbye

So i come home for the holidays and get to spend just 3 hours with greenstamps and rosita before they go off on their holiday. sigh. keeping in touch with friends is fricking hard y'all. Thankfully i have friends who actually make the effort or else i would be without friends. And seeing how it is almost Christmas i suppose i should wish for World Peace etc etc..but what about harsher punishments for parole violators?......what?!?!? get with the program. world peace is like so last season. All the cool people are thinking out of the box these holidays. Just heard also that Rosie O'Donnell and Donald Trump are having a feud and calling each other names. Hey Donald...the sparrow called he wants his nest back from off your head! and Rosie...Rosie rosie rosie...people in glass houses.....

Tis the season to be jolly...

Fa la fuck la la la.

 

Okay, seriously, there's something about Christmas this year that is seriously seriously pissing me off. In a bad way. Partly it's that the weather is just so not beahving right now - I mean this is summar goddamnit, and we have rain and cloud and shit. Well, not shit, because that would just be freaky weird, but you know.

 

So, I thought I'd make a hate list... because tis the season and all that. Here's a list of the things I hate right now, in no particular order...

• sales people who try to be your friend.... i'm sorry, you're a salesboy, i'm not. what do you think we could possibly have in common that would make me vaguely interested in which item you yourself own and love???
• travel agents... ok, these people prepare itineraries and make bookings for a living right? day in day out? then HOW COME they are physically incapable of completing ONE transaction without at least ONE fuck up?
• people who don't let you know what's happening - like ok, if you say 'let's talk at lunchtime, i'll email you' - i EXPECT an email... because do you expect me to freakin keep my day on ice for you?
• people with too much time on their hands and no inclination to do useful work. Yes, hello administration manager - do you think you could do anything USEFULLY administrative? oh sorry, i didn't realise your role meant you CREATE administration for the managers you work for... good!
• the need to be empathetic... oh yes, apparently this is the feedback for me... i have to be more empathetic. ok, so empathy is the ability to put yourself in the other person's shoes and therefore demonstrate increased understanding for their issues, right? HELLO - why the fuck would i want to be in the shoes of some people i know??? not only are their shoes ugly, their ankles are fat. ew.
• parents who cannot manage their children. don't get me wrong - i know it's a hard job, i know children don't do what they're told. but seriously... you have a spoiled brat whining for chocolate. child cries, child cries, child wails, child acts like a possessed monkey... PARENT GIVES THEM THE CHOCOLATE. oh it's called reinforcement, people, look it up in a dictionary. while you're at it, look up 'incompetent' as well.
• FOBs... oh yes, we all know and hate FOBs... we just pretend to be all PC about it. oh, so now i've pushed this hate list too far, have i?

And that's all folks... merry christmas, have a lovely new year... i'll probably find more things to hate on soon, so check back in frequently, y'all!

Burning down the house

so now that i have bought a house i thought that it was the end of all my worries. oh how wrong i was!! turns out before the actual settlement the bitch ass solicitors have to muck things up and almost cause me to lose the house. arrrghhh. and then they phone me up on a Friday afternoon just before closing down for the weekend and ask me to urgently call them back. and that is the one day that i am caught up in theatre and finish 2 hours late. sigh....what was that about Murphy's law?

Blood Makes Noise

so i was at this course at the university and there was this NERDY dweeb sitting next to me....and me being the friendly guy that i am start chatting about nothing at all trying to be pleasant as we are gonna be sitting next to each other for the next 8 hours. and the lecturer starts talking about anemia and blood loss and then asks a rhetorical question about why women are more prone to developing anemia. and this dipstick besides me starts screaming "MENSTRUATION...MENSTRUATION"...i couldn't disappear into the ground fast enough. i was all like seriously dude i don't ever want to hear those words coming from a guy's mouth.

 

there are some things that are just not uttered by a guy and menstruation is one of them. period....wait..haha..did you see what i did there...a pun ...i is smart. hmmm or not. also is it OK for guys to say panties or should we just say undies? i got raked over the coals at work the other day for saying panties. i mean, come on. but whatev.....i don't really freaking give a rat's arse.

in the summertime...when the weather is fine

how do you know it is summer? easy.....people follow you to your car so they can get your parking space at the mall. personally i haven't done it myself but i have always wanted to do it. though i can't really be arsed doing it. i would rather just fuck off and go to another less crowded mall. But all the Ede-jets at the mall who are frantically doing their Christmas shopping are driving me nuts with the JUNK that they are buying. seriously who the fuck needs a 'poker for kids game' or a talking robot dog? your kids need to go out and play and enjoy the sunshine bitches! and then you wonder how they became obese?? get a freakin' clue already bogan!!!

waiters and waitresses...

I have to complain about one more really really annoying thing. Ok - waitress takes our orders. There's me, and one (count them) other person. 15 minutes later she comes back with the food... and asks who ordered the eggs benedict. excuse me, the special needs goldfish with short term amnesia just called - he wants his brain cell back.