Damn Asians...

Ok this isn't actually about asians at all... i mean, other than the fact that they come to our country and take our jobs, damnit. but i can say that because i married an asian. i love that. i reckon we should all go out and make one spouse/best friend/room mate/soul mate/lover from each of the minority races. because then you basically get total licence to fully insult them!!! and all you have to say is "oh, but i can say that because my [insert_relationship] is [insert_minority]" and everyone nods and laughs. and even the minority folk are like vaguely embarrassed at having felt insulted. but, moving on from my shameless capitalisation on korean husbands and german supermen...

 

so, that was just a provocative title... i was really gonna just have a little rant about places that employ incompetent people. hahaha asian or otherwise, y'know y'all? here's some examples right... asian cafe (we're back to the asians!) and i tell the waiter what i want. he no understanding. so i tell him the NUMBER of the item i want. he writes it down. comes back to me 5 minutes later and says 'did you want it with rice or noodles'. RICE, beatch, because that's number 38. If i wanted noodles i would have asked for number 26, RIGHT?

 

then i was at this little corner store, buying a bottle of water, some chippies (mmm salt and vinegar, all the way, chicken sucks as does sour cream and chives) and a pack of gum. ms thang behind the counter (NOT asian... just 'white' generic) can't remember the price of a SINGLE item... ok, your little lame-ass shop only sells five and a half items, so perhaps you could spend a little more energy walking the long long aisles and memorising, it would do you more good than sitting on YOR BEEE-HIND. and then, ms thang cannot add up the prices and calculate correct change. seriously. she has to COUNT OUT LOUD.

 

now, i have no problems with my hairdresser being bad at math. no problems with my driver being bad at math. no problems with my cleaning lady being bad at math. but the cornerstore lady.... damn, woman, this is the ENTIRETY of your job, day IN day OUT, you ADD UP PRICES, you TELL US THE TOTAL, you GIVE ME CHANGE. vegetation has more sparkle.

 

and finally... because you really need THREE examples of idiocy to round it all out... the thing that pisses me off more than anything, is cafes where they give you a number to put on your table, and then STILL manage to come to your table three times with someone else's order. Or come walking through, plaintively asking 'flat white? trim flat white?'. it's like come on party people. it's called basic numeracy... like literacy, only easier, because there's only 10 digits to remember. maybe you could just imprint the pretty pictures the numbers make in your mind and play matching games.

 

ohhhh.... compulsory sterilisation, bring it!